Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
