THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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