The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
