This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
