That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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