i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
