Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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