how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize