Cold hands, warm shart.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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