Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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