Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
