I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
