You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
