Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize