Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
