Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.

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(561): View more from Florida

I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."

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(703): View more from Virginia

..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making

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(416): View more from Toronto

We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.

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(650): View more from California

I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.

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