One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
