I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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