yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
