I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
