2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
