Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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