yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
