Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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