after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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