Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
