That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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