Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
