I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
