I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Farmville is her only friend.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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