just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
