How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
