i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
