It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
