Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
