Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
