i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
