it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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