he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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