It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
