I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We are all done wearing pants today
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize