Your tits are I can't wait for
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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