I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
