respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
