You work out of a Hotel?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
