Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
