Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
