I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
