remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
