their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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